Normally when we hit someone up for this department, they take a really long time to think of ten things they genuinely hate.

But Jenna Bouma—aka SlowerBlack, the stick-n-poke tattoo master—took all of thirty seconds to machine gun us with the various things that get her goat. Interestingly, Jenna didn’t list many bugbears from her work life as a tattoo artist. This is because there are very few bugbears (who came up with ‘bugbear’?) in her work life. She loves her work. And that comes across in her work—which happens to be very, very, very good work. One of the things she hates, though, (number 2 on this list) is an absolute outrage, and it’s perpetrators should be publicly flayed down to the ribs, like Jesus was in that movie. Fucking disgraceful. Take it away, Jenna.

1. I hate slow walkers.

2. I hate ordering a fruit salad only to be presented with the misery that is cantaloupe, honeydew, and three grapes.

3. I hate it when my ink bottle clogs and then cums everywhere like old faithful.

4. I hate when I get emails from marketing companies telling me they can ‘boost my engagement.’

5. I hate bad/irresponsible dog owners.

6. I hate getting older and suddenly succumbing to car sickness. Like, what the hell?

7. I hate it when customers ‘need’ permission from their friends or partners to get tattooed.

8. I hate it when I use a paper toilet seat cover, like a responsible gal, only for it to soak up all the left-over pee droplets from the last user.

9. I hate accidentally dropping my paint brush on a painting. 


10. I hate mouth breathers.

This interview originally appeared in Issue #72, the Nora Vasconcellos Guest Editor Edition, available here.