Monster Children

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Eurovision: A Musical European Odyssey Part One

Presented by Hung Supply


As I write this my liver already hates me.

Oh well, 2023 is a huge year for Australian bands touring across Europe and indulging in everything it has to offer, for example wine, cheese, cured meats, pints bigger than your head…and more cheese. To be quite frank, Europe was never apart of the plan this year until I learnt that Mini Skirt, Amyl and The Sniffers and Bad Dreems (plus more) were all hitting the open European roads for July, August and September. I’d be a fool to not follow suit.

For all of you sitting at home complaining about not being in Europe, I am here to help as best as I can. Over the next 7ish weeks (depending on how proficient I am at writing hungover) you will be hearing from me once a week with updates from the road, the van, the pub, DIY punk squats, the beach and from wherever the fuck else I end up with my camera. It won’t be your average European summer holiday, it’ll be even better or potentially much worse. So get in the van and buckle up.

After some serious time travelling bullshit from Sydney to LAX to Paris, I spent the first few days of my trip recovering from jet lag…aka drinking and eating my way around the backstreets of Paris. Tough gig, I know. Rather than get stuck straight into the tour I left myself a few days buffer to ease into the madness that will be. Who is first on the madness roster you ask? That would be, Mini Skirt. The lovely lads from the Northern Rivers, NSW. Last year was the first time we all toured Europe together, so in theory this year should be a breeze. Right?

Three days into the tour I am writing this from the back of our van smacking down the highway at 130 miles per hour towards the small French town of Clermont, Ferrnat. My life flashing before my eyes, I imagine this is a good time to thank Hung Supply for providing me with the best camera bags on the planet. If I die, at least the cameras will remain comfortable and intact. So far we have ticked off two French beach side festivals and one stinking hot dungeon show in Paris. Three shows down, thirteen more to go covering Switzerland, Italy, Croatia, Hungary, Cheque Republic, Denmark, we’ve barely scratched the surface. It takes at least a week to even figure out what the fuck is going on and settle into the touring lifestyle. Let alone not to mention the European lifestyle of bread, cheese and more bread. I already desperately crave a bowl of lettuce. But that’s not happening. Anywho, it’s probably too early to say but everything so far has been smooth sailing. Aside from the shitty Parisian traffic we are currently stuck in. Here are some notes from the shows so far. Talk soon.

FRANCE

BINIC FESTIVAL

First show was one for the ages and potentially the biggest show Mini Skirt has played. After smashing out a five hour drive, we wasted no time jumping into the freezing ankle deep ocean that surrounded the festival. Mini Skirt are a ’must swim at any opportunity’ kind of band which will be the lifeblood of this tour. Despite the festival being on the North West Coast of France it may have well been in Australia. Along with Mini Skirt, Binic was taken over by some of Australia’s finest bands including Gee Tee, Satanic Togas, Split System and Cash Savage and The Last Drinks. Everyone was hyped to hang out and see each others band rock-out on the other side of the world. Come show time the festival was packed from front to back. I don’t think any of us could really believe it. It’s likely all down from here.

FESTIVAL DE LA MER

Crashed at a hotel last night and awoke to the first of probably not very many continental breakfasts. Best believe we loaded up on as many croissants and crepes as possible. Today we head to a small French town called Portsall, a town that is very dear to us all.Last year Portsall was the highlight of our trip thanks to its amazing people and one insane show inside a small Irish pub. Had to revisit the O’DonNeill Irish Pub where we were welcomed home with open arms by Yann, the owner of the pub and happiest man alive. After a quick pint, Yann jumped in the van with us to direct us to Festival De La Mer, a short coastal drive south. This festival was even closer to the coast than last night, any closer tomorrow and we will be in the water. The ‘European hospitality’ is something that I will mention a lot in these journals.Europeans will give you food, wine, beer, accomodation and everything between.Greenroom doorstep right on the ocean. You bet we’re swimming. Howling winds off the ocean onto the stage but didn’t stop the rock show. The crowd went wild.

CAFE L’INTERNATIONALE

Another continental breakfast. Trying not to get used to this free breakfast lifestyle. But it’s certainly lifesaving. Five hour drive today back towards Paris. Five hours is just long enough to be annoying. First McDonalds stop of the tour. French Macca’s is a lot better that ours. More generous on the sauce and lettuce. Tonight we’re staying at Jack’s, and old mate from home. Disastrous traffic and parking situation arriving back in Paris. Many attempted reverser parallel parks to no success, high stress levels. All stress fixed with cheap Aperol Spritz on a cliché French corner cafe, watching the world go by. As the sun slowly sets the crowd is building early. The beers at the bar are also running out very early. First of many shows in a dungeon sweat pit of a venue, just the kind we all love. Rowdy crowd tonight. Crowd surfing aplenty, low ceilings are for walking on. Surprisingly behaved ourselves tonight. Perhaps something to do with the bar running out of beers. A true life saver.

CLERMONT

Insane Boulangerie (French Bakery) breakfast. All getting tired of eating bread related items. Just kidding, it’s fucking delicious. Another five-ish hour drive today. Went by a lot quicker than usual. I think we’re getting use to it. Spoke to soon. 15 minutes from today’s venue Jacob took a wrong turn, shooting us back down the highway with no sign of turning around and through two tolls. There’s no shortage of very expensive tolls here. Another wrong turn, but we’re back on course!

Tiny venue tonight, exactly what we’re excited for. ‘Evian’ aerosol water cans on the tables for spritzing faces. At least we think so? Hope it’s not hand sanitiser. Visited what we are calling the ‘Metal Church’, simply because it’s all black and covered in gargoyles. Venue full and flowing out onto the street. Only three songs in the show was stopped due to old shitty neighbours complaining to the cops about the noise. Closed all doors and windows to muffle the sound (barley). Extra hot inside now. Two songs to go, the show is shut down again for the same complaint. The bartended/owner known as the ‘The Villain’ basically told the cops the fuck off. Don’t mess with The Villain. Infectious energy from the crowd tonight, any idea of an early night has gone out the window. After not eating all day, The Villain brought out the biggest meat/cheese boards I’ve seen in my life, filling two whole tables. Next came 4 bottles of red wine labeled with The Villain’s face. You really can’t beat European hospitality. 

SWITZERLAND

SEDEL

Stayed at a locals house last night, a truely legend who provided us with breakfast. Today we’re leaving France and heading into the Swiss mountains. SIM card has shit itself. Frenchman sold me a dud. First of hopefully many more servo salads. Must remember to consume vegetables. Bridges, mountains and lakes galore on this drive. Beautiful countryside full of corn fields and big barn house. First boarder crossing was a breeze, not one of us showed a passport. Lost my phone between the seat and van wall, nearly had to pull apart the van to reach it. Once again fifteen minutes off the venue we missed the right turn THREE TIMES, sending us on loops of the highway. Tonights venue is a Swiss prison next to a barn full of cows, wafting cow manure throughout the air. 

‘SEDEL’ no longer houses prisoners and is a live music venue with 50 rehearsal studios.  Ate home cooked pasta on the roof of the prison over looking the nearby lake. That we will 100% swim in tomorrow. No lake is safe from us. Tonights support band called Oh Telephone was fucking epic. Look them up now. Pretty busy show considering the middle of know where location. A venue to remember. Slept in bunk beds in the prison. Not spooky at all. 

The next morning we got a solid sleep in before heading straight to the most beautiful lake we have ever seen. It’s honestly like we were swimming in a Swiss postcard. Steamboats, white swans, mountain ranges, you bloody name it. Everyone got a little sunburnt but it was well worth the relaxation time. Up next we’re off to Italy for 5 shows. Stay tuned. 

Dougal’s croissants, this article series, and music in general made possible through partnership with Hung Supply and Monster Children.